Newsflash Luke Wilson: Your Acting is Mind-Numbing

Idiocracy. The Wendell Baker Story. Whatever-the-fuck movie it was that I saw you in last night. You play one role: Luke Wilson. And you know what else? I don't mind if you insult me in a comedy, so long as you make me laugh, too. Let's just say that I'm not going to be developing a six-pack by watching your boring dead pan.

Hey, you know, I'm boring, too. Dead pan is my first choice if I'm telling a joke. The difference between us is that, I don't have jowls of steel, and I'm not trying to pass myself off as a comedian. You know when you're good? When Wes Andersen has the good sense to cast you in roles where your characterless silence can be interpreted as depth. We all want to believe that your true-blues harbor a deep and generous soul. You just gotta know your strengths, Luke. And you should know this right now: comedy is not it. Heart-throb could be, but you clearly aspire to more. Create yourself as you will, but please stop releasing these gawd-awful humorless "comedies." I can't even imagine that you laughed when you were making them.